XXI. Innocent Victims

XXI. Innocent victims

                from Hobblestone’s Diary (he lets me read it from time to time).

                “At Mass this morning I couldn’t stop thinking about all those people who were killed in Colorado the other day. Horrible victims. There they were, expecting to have a good time; for some, it became their last time on earth. For others, it was the beginning of a nightmare. I also couldn’t help thinking of the pain their families and friends must be suffering. I know I don’t know anything about that pain, but I at least think I know that it is much, much worse than anything I have suffered so far in my life

                Fr. Anderssohn (it has two s’s in it, like in Mendelssohn) talked about it in his homily. He spoke about how there is truly evil in this world, and how that evil seeks to destroy innocent victims. He spoke about how the deranged young man who was responsible for the horror was also a victim—he, too, at one time had been innocent—but something happened and evil managed to get its hooks into him. I’m finding it very hard to think of him as an innocent victim of evil, but in my heart of hearts, I sense that Father spoke the truth.

                A number of people in the church were very offended by what he said about the shooter, and got up and walked out of the church. I don’t know for sure, but it seemed to me as if they were still so stuck in their anger and dismay and their desire for vengeance and punishment that they simply weren’t ready to hear something that was seeking to guide them as well, to guide them out of their anger and vengeful thoughts. But they didn’t want that.

                I told Aunt Millificent about this when we went to the Rusty Bumblebee Café for our usual after-Mass brunch. She listened to what I had to say and then closed her eyes and was silent. I braced myself, because I knew from past experience that I was about to be on the receiving end of a Teaching Moment, as she always calls it.

                But she didn’t say anything at all. Now, of course, I’m wondering what she was thinking. I’m wondering about what she didn’t say. I think that I said something to her that had pained or upset her. But I can’t know for sure—at least I know that much: I can’t know for sure.

                There are so many things that I don’t know about, and it seems like they’ve piled up today. UH-OH! For a while there, I was speaking as if I did know why those people left the church. I’ll bet that’s what upset her. But then again, I can’t know for sure.

                At that point, Harry came by and joined us for brunch. He had stayed behind after Mass to talk with Fr. Anderssohn about some volunteer work he was doing next week with Samantha. Aunt Millificent and I never got to finish our discussion. I’m sure we’ll take it up again at some other time. But then again, I can’t know for sure.

                One more thing: I’m sorry those people left the church when they did, because the end of Father’s homily was a hum-dinger: All he did was point to the crucifix—point to the body on the cross—and repeated the words he had said earlier: “Evil seeks to destroy innocent victims.” He left the rest of the thinking to us.

Rule # 136: Evil seeks the destruction of innocent victims. It that’s true, then we also have to ask: Who or what is it that can destroy evil? The answer to this is very important.

Rule # 200: Evil sometimes works through people. Even good people.

            Rule # 201: Sometimes, the doers of evil are victims themselves.

Rule # 114: When people are challenged more than they are ready for, sometimes they have to walk away.

This has been a pretty serious entry. Let’s not get distracted from it by thinking about any of the following: 1) the politics of gun laws; 2) finding someone or something to blame; 3) atheists.

Please send feedback.

XX. Something for you to try out

XX. Something for you to try out

                So: last time I promised to give you a little exercise to try, and I promised that trying it would be well worth the effort.

                Before I do that, however, I want to tell you that if you’ve already decided that you’re not interested, you can go do something else. The next entry will be along in a few days. Just remember Entry # 20 in case some day you change your mind and want to go back and find out what it is. The bridge will still be waiting for you. Just like is says in the Rule:

Rule # 133: Sometimes we decide not to cross a particular bridge but the bridge just stays there, waiting until the day we change our minds. Not all bridges do this, however, so be careful.

Anyway, on to the exercise:

Take out a journal-type notebook or, if you don’t have one, take three sheets of paper—ruled, if possible. Then commit yourself to filling those three pages with writing. You can write about anything you want. Just jot down anything at all that comes into your head. Don’t censor yourself because no one is ever going to read what you write. And keep this in mind: there is no wrong way to do it. In fact, there is only one rule at all: Keep the Pen(cil) moving. Don’t stop and think. Just keep writing. If, along the way, you think to yourself “I don’t have anything to say,” just write that down, and then keep listening to the tape that’s running in your head, and let what’s in your head flow unto the page. Don’t forget that there’s only one rule: Keep the pen moving.

When you begin, you might doubt you’ll be able to fill those three pages with writing. The Blank Page can be threatening. We never know what bridge is going show itself, and even when it does and we start to cross, sometimes the fog rolls in and we can’t even see more than one or two steps ahead. Don’t worry: it’s okay. In fact, it’s a good experience to have. In fact, it’s an Important Experience  to have.

Think of it this way: how many times in your life have you been walking through the woods in the dark or crossing a bridge (metaphorically, of course), not know what is ahead of you, even if you’re walking with a flashlight. You take a step and the next step appears in front of you. One more step, and another appears. Step by step by step.

It’s nice to know sometimes that we are being led. It’s nice to know that we will be lead. (It’s good to stop and wonder every once in a while who it is that’s doing the leading?)

Think of Columbus crossing the ocean. Think of an inventor fiddling around but now knowing what he’s going to end up with. Think of a writer being led through a poem, or novel. Think of a composer developing a symphony. Except for those very few times when we have an explosion of insight and the finished product appears in front of us (Mozart used to say that often happened to him), most of the time our process is more like the process of filling three blank pages in a journal.

Sometimes, when I’m writing an entry, or even editing one, I have no idea where I’m going to end up. But something always comes. (Of course it does; otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this). And I can tell you right now that when I began working on this entry I had no idea I would going in this direction. In fact, sometimes I wonder if it’s really me who’s writing the blog or whether I’m just some kind of conduit. Neat stuff, I say; also, scary stuff.  But it’s often The Way Things Happen.

Rule # 97: Sometimes bridges appear at just the right time, but not before, and sometimes we can’t see what’s on the other side of the bridge. This is OK. Get used to it.

Rule # 177: If you don’t step out into the unknown at times, you can never accomplish anything spectacular.

Another challenge for you: Write those three pages every day. It will help transform your life. If you’d like to find out more about this, go get yourself a book called The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. She’ll explain all about it right in the introduction to the book.

And that’s all for today. I hope you go and try the little experiment if you haven’t ever done something like that in your life. Maybe you’ve been led in a direction that will surprise you. We never know, we never really know. Do we?

And now I have a list of three more things I want to tell you about: 1) Samantha’s housewarming party; 2) People who don’t think they’re creative; 3) How Hobblestone and Harry got to be friends. Maybe we’ll get to cross those bridges some day.

Meanwhile, don’t fret about any of the following: 1) tomorrow; 2) Why did Samantha think it necessary to buy her own home; 3) random things like avocados.

XIX. Into the unknown.

XIX.  Into the unknown.

                Before I start this entry I want to point out to you that At This Very Moment  you have absolutely no idea where this blog is going to be taking you today. And if it’s any consolation to you, I don’t know myself. This blog itself is a Mystery, just like so many other things in life. In fact, this blog is like life. “How?” you ask. “ I’ll tell you how:

                Just like in life, you won’t know what will happen in this blog until it happens. You just have to wait and see what turns up. Just like in life. In fact, it’s a rule about life:

Rule # 16: We will only know what will happen when it happens. We have to just wait and see what turns up.

Do you remember Abraham (Section V)? Told by God to travel to a place God has prepared for him that he didn’t know anything about? Well, that’s just like us: we’re always traveling toward parts unknown. Sometimes We Think We Know but we are sadly mistaken. All of us. Including me (who doesn’t know how this blog entry will end up) and including you. My goodness, you can’t even leave the house and go down to the convenience store to buy a package of sugar free gum and a bottle of olives without something happening that you never would have expected to happen. A few possibilities:

·         You bump into the person who will become your life-long best friend (or even more than that.)

·         You find a five dollar bill lying in the street.

·         You bend over to pick up the five dollar bill and almost get run over by a Snapple® truck.

·         You suddenly get an answer to a problem you’d been working on all week—it just pops into your head when you least expect it. (That happens a lot. It’s part of the creative process, you know.)

·         You meet a little boy who is crying because his dog just died.

·         You say hello to Virgil’s mother who’s in the story to buy some bak choi.

·         While you’re talking with Virgil’s mother, some masked man with a gun tries to rob the place.

·         Virgil’s mother knocks out the would-be robber with a gallon of frozen fudge ripple ice cream.

Do you see what I mean? As is says in the book of Isaiah, I will lead the blind on their journey; by paths unknown I will guide them.

And then there’s the whole question of who is it that’s speaking those words, who is doing the leading and who are “the blind.” But by now I hope you realize that you and I are the blind ones, dear readers.

Rule # 70: We are often blind, even when we don’t realize it.

Here are some further examples of blind people we have met:

·         A year before Hobblestone’s uncle moved to Topeka, he never would have dreamed that he’d be moving to Topeka. In fact, he didn’t even know where Topeka was.

·         When Virgil was dating Lucinda, he never expected that one day he’d be dating Pam instead.

·         Virgil’s mother was totally confused now that Virgil wasn’t going to marry Lucinda. Confused, frustrated, angry and bitter, in fact. She thought she had had things All Figured Out. (We know about thinking that way, don’t we?)

·         And how could we forget? Until the Disappointing Letter from Graduate School arrived, Hobblestone thought he knew what he would be studying and where he would be studying it. But suddenly, he was faced with a blank slate. An empty page. A future unknown. A bridge surrounded by fog so thick that he couldn’t even tell where the bridge was leading.

·         One night, Hobblestone and Harry were on their way to the movies. At least they thought that’s where they were going. But along the way they saw a car on the side of the road with its hazard lights blinking and, lo and behold, it turned out to be their friend Virgil. His car had just stopped running and he had to coast to the side of the road. They stopped to help him. Harry, who knew a lot about cars, was able to fix the problem. (Don’t worry about what the problem was. It Doesn’t Matter.) But anyway, to cut a long story short, they never ended up going to the movies that night. Instead, they ended up in the Rusty Bumblebee Café drinking overpriced lattes and having a great time reminiscing about the housewarming party they’d been to at Samantha’s new condo. (More about Samantha’s housewarming party later.)

And so there you have it: they thought they knew where they were heading, but they ended up where they never expected to be going. It turned out to be a good evening. They had far more fun than they would have had at the movies. (Don’t’ ask what movie they were going to see. It Doesn’t Matter.) 

On a related note, I know a way that you can experience on a daily basis the sensation of not knowing where you are going. A way that is guaranteed to work. A way that can have an enormous impact on your life if you’re ready to handle the Transformation. Would you like to know what it is? I don’t care whether you do or not: I’m still going to tell you about it. Then you can decide whether or not to cross the bridge. I’ll tell you all about it next time. 

Meanwhile, be assured that this blog will not be dealing with: 1) chaos theory; 2) the history of Amazing Grace;  3) bak choy recipes for diabetics.

XVIII. Transformation 101

XVIII. Transformation 101

                Last time I promised you I’d explain what I mean by transformation. So let’s get that out of the way right now so we can move on to other things. When I  speak of transformation, I’m speaking of a change in nature or character that begins “internally” with words and thoughts, but then begins to manifest itself in actual behavior. Transformation happens when people cross Significant Bridges. Here are a few examples:

·         Hobblestone observed the cat, thought about it, crossed the Flexibility Bridge and stopped throwing tantrums when he didn’t get what he wanted.

·         Hobblestone’s uncle thought about a lot of things that made him able to cross the Leap into the Unknown Bridge which eventually got him to Topeka, where he’s done quite well for himself. And he has very good health insurance which paid for his kidney stone problem.

·         Virgil crossed the It’s Okay To Say if We Just Stay Friends bridge and stopped dating Lucindaso he could finally cross the Pam Bridge. Virgil’s mother, on the other hand, continued thinking that she knew what was best for her son (=marrying Lucinda) and didn’t cross any bridges at all.

·         I thought about how much I loved my buddy’s beagle, crossed the “Don’t Get Mad at the Stupid Mutt  Who Doesn’t Know Any Better” Bridge and didn’t get angry when the dear doggy made off with another one of my socks.

·         Mamma Buttons (you haven’t met her yet) did a lot of thinking about folks over 70, noticed which ones were still brightening up the world and which ones gave up and grew bitter. She underwent a Tranformation, went out to volunteer at the local methadone clinic, and became a beloved “grandmother figure” by one and by all, addicts and non-addicts, policemen, social workers, doctors, nurses, and her 19 grandchildren. She also became a “class grandmother” for Pam’s class at the Hobblestone Elementary School where she grew very adept at recognizing children who were victims of abuse. But that’s another story all together. (And now you’ve met Mamma Buttons, and might I point out that you had no idea you’d be meeting her when you started reading this blog entry. We never know what’s coming up, we never really know).

                Note also that a lot of people never cross any bridges because they refuse to examine the way they think, no matter how much the facts show them that they are mistaken. For them, facts don’t matter; Transformation is impossible. This happens especially in politics and in religion. There’s also a saying about non-transformation that’s been floating around in different forms. Here’s one version: “If you keep thinking the way you’re thinking, what you’re going to end up with is what you have.” Be warned, my friends. Be very warned.

                So give yourself a quick check to see how you’re doing on the Transofrmation  scale:  How has your thinking changed in a way that is affecting your attitudes and behaviors? Are you crossing bridges, or a you still stuck on an island that keeps getting smaller and smaller as time goes on?

Heady stuff, I know. If it doesn’t make any sense to you, don’t worry about it. You’re probably not ready for it yet.

Rule # 147: We can only learn what we’re ready to learn; we can only understand what we’re ready to understand. If you don’t understand this, you’re not ready. Just relax.

                Now I certainly don’t know what you’re ready for or not, and that’s the way it should be. After all, even if I did know who you are I still could only take a guess at what you’re ready for since basically you are a Mystery to me. So I’m going to stop this entry now and we’ll talk more about Transformation some other time.

                Until then, think about these things. Don’t, however, concern yourself with any of the following: 1)” No child left behind” and the damage it has done; 2) mind-altering drugs; 3) What the night life in Topeka is like.