XIII. The Bad Place.

At the risk of stating the obvious, I’ll state the obvious: There are Bad Places as well as Good Places. 

I was in a Bad Place yesterday. I installed a new software program on my computer and the one function I needed the program to do for me wouldn’t work the way it was supposed to. I called Tech Support, only to find out that the line wouldn’t be open until Monday. It was Friday. I tried on-line help and was informed that I’d get an answer to my question the next business day. Bit by bit, step by step, frustration by frustration, I slipped into my Bad Place. Computers can do that to you when something isn’t working right. I’m sure you know what I mean.

Then the phone rang. It was Fluntrick with an annoying question. I was curt and snippy with him. That’s what happens when I’m in a Bad Place. Does this ever happen to you? How do you act when you’re in a Bad Place?

About 10 minutes later I was back in a Good Place. I’ll tell you later how I got there. One hint though: it involved a few deep breaths. 

Rule # 87: We all have Good Places and Bad Places. Sometimes we're in a tug-of-war between the two.

Here’s some basic information about Bad Places:

·         The Bad Place is where some people go when things don’t work out the way they want them to. (Like having them run out of your favorite ice cream flavor.)

·         When you’re in the Bad Place, you get angry and curse your fate.

·         The Bad Place is where you take that anger out on others.

·         The Bad Place is where you feel sorry for yourself.

·         People in the Bad Place are always looking for someone else or something else to blame for their sad predicament. Examples: Their parents, the government, the boss-who-doesn’t-get-them, their parole officer, their husbands, or wives, or kids, that nasty professor.

·         People in the Bad Place is a place get eaten up by envy (the only sin which gives the sinner no pleasure), jealousy, crippled bitterness and resentment.

·         Sometimes you can recognize a Bad Place because there is a banging of fists on tables (or anything else handy), there are often naughty words used (you should hear what I called my computer!)

·         People in Bad Places often have a particular sensation somewhere in their bodies. It’s different for each person. It’s good when you learn to recognize the feeling, because then you know you’re in trouble. That’s what is meant by the phrase Listen to Your Body.

 Another Rule, if you will: 

Rule # 98: The Bad Place can reach out with its tentacles and pull us right out of our Good Place.

 Remember what happened to Virgil’s mother that day she was happily taking a pineapple upside-down cake out of the oven when she realized that her son was not going to marry Lucinda after all, even though she thought that would Be the Best Thing For HIm. Whoosh—off to the BAd Place, while the poor pineapple upside-down cake splattered to the floor. You know the rest of the sordid details.

The day that Disappointing Letter From Graduate School arrived, Hobblestone could feel himself slipping into the Bad Place. But he was aware of it, and he could observe it happening. He noticed right away that he was getting angry, and feeling sorry for himself. Not good. He knew from experience that being in the Bad Place only made things even more painful. So what did he do?

 You know what he did. I told you last time. He went to see Aunt Millificent. He decided to build a bridge from the Bad Place to the Good Place.He knew the rule.

Rule # 89: Once we’re aware that we have Good Places as well as Bad Places we are better able to negotiate our way between the two. 

 Don’t forget Rule # 73. Here, I’ll repeat it for you just in case you haven’t been keeping up with all the blog entries:

Rule # 73: Self-awareness brings us a greater degree of freedom than we had when we were unconscious or ignorant.

 

Now, think about this: By the way, what can pull you out of a Good Place? And what can rescue you from a Bad Plac?. This blog isn’t only about Hobblestone (or Virgil’s mother), you know. But there’s one thing I want to say about Virgil’s mother at this point: It’s a damn good thing what she was never rejected from graduate school. And that’s all I have to say about the matter.

                Think about your Bad Places and your Good Places. Build yourself a bridge if you want.

But don’t waste any mental energy thinking about the following issues: 1) Dante’s Inferno; 2) How to find a good therapist  3) Jealousy, envy and bitterness in the nuclear family (or monastery).