VIII. Another Visit to the Ice Cream Stand

VIII. Another visit to the Ice Cream Stand

 A few months later the family was once again at the Ice Cream Stand and once again they were out of Hobblestone’s favorite flavor. Once again, the family gasped. Hobblestone, however, had learned his lesson from The Cat much to everyone’s delight and surprise.

What happened? I’ll tell you what happened a little later. But first, I want to point out that Aunt Millificent didn’t know just how much the episode with The Cat had meant to Hobblestone, and what it had taught him.  

Isn’t that true so often? We set something in motion and the process continues without us even being involved in it. It’s like a gardener planting seeds which grow up to be flowers while her back is turned. Jesus once said something about a farmer sowing seeds which then grew while he was off doing something else—sleeping, probably, because sowing seed is hard work. And by the way, weeds grow the same way so we have to be careful.That brings us to a couple of Rules: 

Rule # 12: Sometimes you’re sowing seeds and you’re not even aware of it. 

Rule # 18: Be careful when you’re sowing seeds; you never know what they’ll grow up to become. 

                You might be wondering why the rule numbers are skipping around all of a sudden.  Well, there’s a reason for it. It’s happening to demonstrate that most of the time, life isn’t linear. Things skip around, whirl around, double back on themselves, reappear, get lost on other bridges and some times veer off into the blogosphere . 

 We’d like to think that everything moves along one step at a time (like Euclidean geometry), but let’s face it: you can’t study English literature that way, you can’t learn to play basketball that way, and you certainly can’t go about learning more about yourself in such an organized fashion.

  Rule # 11: Life isn’t linear.

                 Now you might dispute this, and you’re certainly entitled to. But remember Rule # 6 (back when the rules were in order). Look back at it if you need to, and then think about it for a while before we go back to the Ice Cream Stand to find out how Hobblestone had crossed his No More Tantrums Bridge. (By the way, have you crossed yours yet? If not, maybe you can learn from The Cat as well. 

                Here are a few things you don’t need to be thinking about, by the way: 1. Math anxiety.  2. Farm subsidies.  3. The difference between sine and cosine.

               

VII. The Cat

The best snoozing spot in the universe (for now).

At Aunt Millificent’s:  Shortly after arriving and having a little snack, Hobblestone picked up one of his favorite books and took it to the den. His plan was to go sit in his special chair, the one with the big wings and high arms that he could snuggle into and pretend he was in a hidden cave and everyone was looking for him but couldn’t find him. Aunt Millificent even played along with the game and pretended to be looking for him but not finding him, until finally he would give himself away with a giggle and she would gently pounce on him and snuggle him in her arms. Question: Do you  ever snuggle your loved ones? Just wondering .  . .

            Well, guess what? The cat was sound asleep in the chair.  He went over to the chair and said, “Shoo, Kitty!” Kitty the Cat jumped down from the armchair and less than a minute later was curled up somewhere else happy and content, looking like it had just discovered The Best Snoozing Spot in the Universe, and had already forgotten the indignity of being dislodged by a six-year-old boy carrying a pop-up book. Question: Have you ever noticed that when cats nap, they actually look like they’re working at it?

            Hobblestone climbed into his chair, but instead of reading his book, he just kept staring at the cat with a pensive look on his face, rubbing his chin like an old Rabbi I once knew. What was going on in his little mind?

            Aunt Millificent was wondering the same thing as she stood in the doorway watching Hobblestone stroke his chin and watch the cat. The cat, meanwhile, wasn’t watching anyone at all since she had settled deeply into her seventeenth nap of the day and could care less about what was going on in the rest of the world.

            Meanwhile, the plan that Aunt Millificent was looking for slowly began to take shape in her  mind. She summed up the details she had observed: Hobblestone shooing the cat. The cat quickly finding another place to snooze. No fuss. No bother. No trantrum. Zing! It all came together in an flash of insight!

            Smiling, she walked into the room and went over to the chair. Hobblestone skooched over a little so she could sit down with him. She sat down and he scampered onto her lap. “Oh my goodness, what a nice surprise,” she said. “There’s a Hobblestone here with me in the chair!”  <giggle, giggle> “Just a few minutes ago, Kitty was here. I wonder what happened to her. Have you seen her, my dear?”

Hobblestone giggled and pointed to the couch. “She’s over there on the couch. She was sleeping here but I shooed her down from the chair and she went right over there and curled up again.”

“Really,” Aunt Millificent replied. “Did she get mad at you?” Hobblestone rubbed his chin and giggled. “Noooooooo.” “Did she get angry or growl or try to scratch you?” “Noooooooooo” he said as he opened his eyes big. “She just walked around the room until she found another place to take her nap. She just moved on.”

“My goodness!” said Aunt Millificent. “I think I would really get upset if someone made me move away from a seat I was enjoying . . . “ Notice the consummate skill with which she was drawing him towards the desired conclusion. This woman is a true artist. “Silly Aunt Mullificent! Cats aren’t like people,” he exclaimed. “They don’t get upset the way we do. They just move on. They just find somewhere else to plop down.”

“That’s a very interesting way of putting it, dear. And do you know what?” she said as she stroked her chin and looked into his wide brown eyes. “ I think it would be nice sometimes if people were more like cats and didn’t get upset as easily when things don’t go their way.

That was all. End of discussion. This gal really knew what she was doing. In essence, she had just exposed her nephew to a new bridge, and even paid the toll and opened the gate, and said a quick prayer that he would cross it. But she’d done her job. Now it was up to him.

          Rule #7: Leave people free to make their own choices about which bridges to cross. Unless you’re a prison guard.

Less than an hour later, Hobblestone lay in his bed, having said his prayers alongside Aunt Mullificent (he even prayed for Kitty). He’d been cuddled, kissed and been lovingly tucked in. And as he started to fell asleep he was thinking about what it would be like if he were a cat.

Bridges that lead to nowhere

Have you ever gotten on a bridge that leads to nowhere?

Where is this bridge? Answer by comment.

VI. Rules

VI. Rules

While Aunt Millificent is driving Hobblestone back to her house, I thought we could have a little discussion about Rules. “Why?” you ask? “Why not?”  I answer.  No, no,no---you’re not going to block me while I’m crossing this particular bridge. It wouldn’t be good for me or for you.

Rule # 4: When you block someone’s bridge you might do them harm. In fact, you might also do harm to yourself because you’ll miss out on the benefits the world will enjoy if the bridge you’re blocking manages to get crossed in spite of you.

Is that clear? Good. Then, on with our discussion.

                Rules, Rules, Rules. They’re everywhere. We get them from our parents and teachers, we see them on posters, in classrooms, at work, in the park, on road signs, in company memoranda, even on teabags and fortune cookies. You can’t even get away from them by going to the bathroom—there’s a rule or two hanging there well—safety regulations or something telling employees what they Must Do Before Returning to Work.? It will never end. Rules, rules, rules until the day we die. Maybe we die as well. I haven’t died yet, so I can’t be sure about this. If you die before I die, let me know if you find a way to get in touch. Please?  That brings me to another rule.

Rule # 5: If you’ve never been “there,” or if you’ve never done “it”, let people know that before you start to bother them with your advice about it. In most cases, you’re probably better off not saying anything at all.

                Some rules are very important and some are trivial, and some of them don’t make much sense, especially those made by bureaucrats, but I’m probably not telling you anything you don’t already know.

                Some people are very good at making up rules for others to follow. That’s ok, sometimse, if it’s their job. Parents, for example, make up rules for their children. Sometimes they are little white lies, like If you’re bad, Santa Claus is going to put coal in your stocking! Sometimes parents can get way out of hand with their rules, especially if their main aim is to control or manipulate us. Can you think of a rule that you were given that you now know was like that? If you can, make a comment about it.

Some rules we learn all by ourselves. I remember when I was a little boy and I was fooling around with the knobs in our car and I pulled out the knob that happened to be the cigarette lighter. And I noticed that it was glowing red. So I stuck my finger in it to touch the red glow. Guess what: I made up a rule right then and there. Don’t Ever Do That Again. And I never have. Of course, now cars don’t have cigarette lighters anymore, so maybe that rule’s becoming obsolete.

A lot of rules do become obsolete over time, like the Santa Claus rule, or a rule such as “put the needle down on the record gently!” And sometimes even though the rule has become obsolete, we might not be aware of it and may still be following a rule that no longer needs to be followed. For example: some Catholics still don’t eat meat on Fridays even though that rule has been changed and now it only applies during Lent.

I also think that some restaurants still believe the Friday-meat rule, because they’re always offering fish specials such as “All you can eat fish-and-chips” on Fridays, even when it’s not Lent. And don’t many restaurants have Clam Chowder on the menu on Fridays? Even though we’re allowed to have homemade turkey soup on Fridays, assuming we don’t belong to a religion that has a no-turkey-on-Fridays rule. Anyway, you can thank Catholicism for all the clam chowder restaurants still serve on Fridays.

Anyway, check out the rules you’ve been observing for a long time. Are they still in force? If not, feel free to move one, even if you might tend to feel guilty the first few times you break the rule. You’ll get used to it eventually. I understand. When I was in Catholic school, there was a rule that you always put J.M.J. on the top of the page; then I switched to Public School, and at first I still  kept up the J.M.J. habit until a teacher pointed out that I didn’t have to do that any more. But you know something, I kept feeling guilty when I turned in a paper with no J.M.J. Somehow the page felt incomplete to me. I’m over that now, thank Jesus, Mary and  Joseph.

                Most religions have a lot of rules, some more than others, but I wouldn’t joke about any religion but my own, and especially not religions that go nuts if anyone tries to make fun of them.

               Some rules are obvious—to us, at least--- but we shouldn’t be too quick to make assumptions; they might not be obvious to others. In fact, you might know some people who aren’t aware of any rules at all, such as Hobblestone’s cousin Mary, who marches to the beat of her own drummer. She lives in Berkeley, CA. HA!!!  Did I get  you on that? Did you shake your head and say, “it figures” when you found out she was from Berkeley? Do you have a rule that says “People who live in Berkeley often march to the beat of their own drummers”? Do you?

Some rules actually tell us something about How The Universe Works. Think of the “Do not put metal in this microwave” rule that’s on most microwaves. Have you ever tried to break that rule, just to see what happened? What happened? I’ll bet you never tried to break that rule again.

There are a lot of Rules in the Bible. Right in the beginning, for example, Adam and Eve were given one rule—that’s right, just one rule to obey: DON’T EAT THE FRUIT FROM THAT.ONE.TREE! What happened? They blew it. You see, a serpent came along and lied to them and told them that the rule wasn’t true. So who did they believe, the God who had made them and the fruit and the trees, or some creepy serpent hanging out in the tree? And from then on, we’ve had this tendency to believe an awful lot of lies that get us into an awful lot of trouble. Catholics (and some others) call that “the effects of original sin”—this tendency we have to do things we shouldn’t do even if we’re aware that we shouldn’t be doing them. Do you do that sometimes?

Basically, if you break a rule, someone gets hurt. The bigger the rule, the  more the hurt. If you doubt me, just open the newspaper on any given day and see how many people have gotten hurt because someone broke a rule somewhere.

The Ten Commandments are good examples of rules that tell us how the universe works, even though some people still have trouble believing that. But basically, they’re saying that if you break those rules things are going to get nasty sooner or later. Some people have never thought of the Ten Commandments that way. But look at your own life, and at some of the commandments you’ve broken or continue to break. Have there been any consequences, or has everything turned out okay? If you think things are okay, don’t get too smug, because after all, your life isn’t over yet, and something still might come back and hit you right in the face. I think this might also happen after we die, but I respect your right to think differently. In the end, we’ll all find out who was right—or I should say, after the end.

Some rules are absolutely horrible, make no sense at all and are downright dangerous, but there have been times in history where whole nations of people have blindly followed rules like that without ever questioning them, or if they did question them they did so in silence so they wouldn’t get arrested, imprisoned, tortured or killed. This is still going on, by the way. (Again, I direct your attention to just about any newspaper.) P.S. Bigot-rules also fall under this category.

Some rules are deliberate attempts to deceive people. Consider advertising for plenty of examples. The real insidious thing about advertising is that so often they are somewhat subtle or hidden. Rules like, “if you drive a car like that, people are going to think you’re sexy,” or “that after-dinner drink will draw intelligent, hip and beautiful people to your parties.” Many advertisements portray a style of living that makes people want to have but that very few if any people ever end up really having—and even if they did, they still would be miserable because the truth is they would be living empty shallow lives in pursuit of the consumerist dream.

                Anyway, where is all this leading, you might ask. Well, for now, I’d just like to give you another Rule:

Rule # 6: Don’t take rules for granted. If possible, check them out to see if they’re true or valid, up-to-date or obsolete, and if your gut tells you whether or not they’re to be trusted. And apply this rule to this rule lest you be led astray.

Well, Aunt Millificent has just pulled into the driveway at her house, with Hobblestone fast asleep in the back seat.

And that’s all for now. Just so you know, there will be no rules in this blog about a) Christmas Shopping; b) media moguls; c) Buddhist dietary practices.

How to block a blocker. Lesson Two.



Blocker: Why?                             Unblocker: Why not?

V. Moving to Topeka

5. Moving to Topeka

            So, anyway: Aunt Millificent was driving Hobblestone to her house, still having no idea whatsoever what she was going to do about the boy’s temper tantrums. The bridge (dealing with the tatrums) was beckoning her; she was not sure what to do; she trusted the bridge would take her to a good place.

            Rule # 3: When we don’t know where a bridge is taking us, sometimes we just have to trust; other times we have to get off the bridge before it’s too late.

            There are no easy answers, are there?

So: As we make our way through life, we are often in situations where we have to move into the unknown All you have to do is take a look at your own life to see if Rule # 3 is true or not. Or ask around.  Ask any guy the night before his marriage. Ask any monk ready to take vows. Ask a young lady the night before she gets ready to move into her college dorm for the very first time. Ask her parents wondering what it will be like at home without her around. Ask Hobblestone’s uncle before he moved to Topeka.  Ask an artist facing a blank canvas. Ask a blogger who isn’t sure if this project is going to work or not. In fact, you can even ask the Bible.

Yes, there will be Bible stuff from time to time. After all, I’m a priest, for God’s sake (literally!) But I’m not going to be obnoxious about it like those people who walk around knocking on doors and telling you that you’re going to go to hell unless you believe the Bible the way They Believe in the Bible. Heaven knows there’s too much of that going on in the world right now, and I’m not going to add to the problem and to the violence it often brings.

                So there’s a character in the Bible named Abraham; we get to meet him in the book of  Genesis, chapter 12. Abraham (originally known as Abram before his life changed after an encounter with God) is the proto-type for a human being destined to cross a bridge into the unknown. The Bible, you see, tells a lot about what it means to be human.

Well God, you see, had big plans for Abraham. But in order for them to happen, Abraham had to cross a bridge that God had already set up for him: “Abraham, go forth!” the Big Guy said. “Pick yourself up and leave everything you have known up until now and go forth to a land I will show you.” And so, just like Hobblestone’s uncle, he picked up and moved to Topeka.

Well actually, Abraham came long before Hobblestone’s uncle, but this is my blog so I’m allowed to mess around with time lines and even coin my own metaphors. And so from here on in, “moving to Topeka” will be a metaphor for moving somewhere you’ve never been before. Like Hobblestone’s uncle as he set out for, well, Topeka. Like Hobblestone on his way to his first day of work while the ink was still wet on his college diploma.

And so I ask: When have you had to move to Topeka? How did it work out? Did you have a feeling like somehow it was all planned out for you before you made the move? OK, maybe not.

                So anyway, Abraham obeyed God and picked himself up and moved to Topeka, or, as the Bible says, thus he went forth, not knowing where he was going. (Letter to the Hebrews, 11:8) And, in case you were wondering, things turned out just fine for him. Better than fine, even. Go look it up if you want. Just start at Genesis 12 and read on from there.

                And by the way, there’s a really good answer to give to Bridge-Blockers.If I were writing the Bible, I would have mentioned the Bridge-Blockers just so I could teach everyone the perfect answer to stop them dead in their tracks.

Reply to a Bridge-Blocker:  ”I’m going to give this a try and see where it takes me.”

It also helps if you have faith in whoever it is who’s designing  your bridges. Just ask Abraham.    You know, it’s a good thing that Abraham wasn’t married to Virgil’s mother. He’d never have made it to Topeka.

Oh, and one last thing: Aunt Millificent wasn’t going to have to do anything about Hobblestone’s tantrums. He was about to learn a valuable lesson, one that some people much older than he never get around to learning. And who would teach that lesson? Not Aunt Millificent, bless her soul. It was The Cat.

Now :  you don’t know where this blog is heading, so in a way, you’re also moving to Topeka.( I’m not sure I know either: Topeka, here I come.) But at least I can help you out by mentioning some questions the blog isn’t going to answer  for you:  Who decided what books made up the Bible; Why did the author (me!) choose Topeka to be the seat of a major metaphor; What did Abraham’s wife think about all this damn moving around?

Today, a quiz.

Let's see how creative you are. What does the scene in this picture have in common with a bridge?

IV. What would have happened if . . .

IV. What would have happened if . . .

            Imagine that a Bridge-Blocker had gotten to Columbus before he set out on his journey, wagged her finger in his face and shouted, “Look before you leap!” and he listened to her. Where would we be?

            Or where would we be if the Blockers had gotten to countless others who have had to cross those bridges that led to profound discoveries that have helped shape our civilization, for good or for bad? Think of Bill Gates, Ghandi, Edison, Steve Jobs, Madame Curie, or Aunt Millificent?

            Aunt Millificent? Really? How? These are Good  Questions, not distractions.  But in order to answer the question I have to tell you a story. It will take a little time, so go get a snack if you need to. Just make sure you don’t make your computer keyboard get sticky.

            Here’s the story:

             Hobblestone was 6 years old. I believe it was in July. (Why do I believe that? Because I’m making up the story!) The weather was quite warm, even for 7 in the evening. Hobblestone and his parents were on the way home from a rather disappointing outing to a miniature golf course which apparently had seen better days and wasn’t well maintained. Fortunately, Aunt Millificent  (his mother’s older sister) was with them. So was Hobblestone’s little pal Harry—yes, the same Harry with whom he would eventually rent a summer cottage, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

            Anyway, as they were driving along they passed an outdoor ice cream stand. Hobblestone’s father suggested they stop for ice cream, and the rest of the group readily agreed, especially the two boys. No surprise there: could you imagine a time when two little boys would ever turn down a chance to stop for ice cream?

            Hobblestone went first, and asked for a mint chocolate chip cone. He always picked mint chocolate chip, ever since he discovered it was such a delightful phrase to roll off his tongue. He used to over-dramatize it, and over-accentuate the T’s. Try it, and make sure you pronounce the T’s very clearly: minT-chocolaTe-chip. It is rather tantalizing, isn’t it? Anyway, Hobblestone was adorably cute when he said it, especially with that accented “T” thing he did, and it usually made the others giggle a bit. (Hobblestone liked to have fun with words.)  I think that was why he always ordered that flavor—just so he could get a bit of special attention and become the star of the show, even if only briefly.

The chuckles didn’t last long, however.  “I’m sorry, little guy, but we’re all out of mint chocolate chip today,” said the teen on the other side of the window. Gasp!  The group grew silent, waiting to see what was going to happen.

            Just think: what could possibly happen when a 6-year-old boy is told that he can’t have what he wants? You’ve got it: Temper Tantrum!  His parents sighed with a “here we go again” look on their faces, since this was happening far too often lately. Even young Harry rolled his eyes as Hobbestone squeezed his fists together (well, actually, he scrunched them, if you know what I mean), pulled in his lips, started to turn red and raised his leg to stamp his foot, and . . . I’ll spare you the rest of the awful details and cut to the next scene.

            It didn’t take too long before his father took him back to the car for a “time out,”  (definitely not a spanking—he didn’t believe in that!) while his mother smiled apologetically to the other people around the stand, most of whom had stopped licking their own ice cream cones around the time of Hobblestone’s third shriek. She turned to Harry (who was around so much she considered him to be a second son,) to ask him what flavor he would like (chocolate).  Soon, Harry was carefully slurping away. He didn’t want to let any of the ice cream drip on his fingers. He hated having sticky fingers, and napkins never really helped. Actually, they tended to stick to his fingers as well, making an even bigger mess.

Meanwhile, Aunt Millificent stood quietly with a pensive look on her face, and gently patted Mother on the back in a gesture of support, thinking of what she could do to help. (Something you should know about Aunt Millificent: at a young age she promised herself that she would be being the Best Big Sister in the World, was always looking for ways to protect her sisterand to do things to make her life easier, especially when  Hobblestone was a bit too much to handle.

 “What am I going to do?” asked the mother. “This has been going on for a few weeks now. What can I do? Do I have to just grin and bear it until he decides to grow up, or punish him, or . . .????”
            Aunt Millificent to the rescue: “I’ve got an idea,” she said, even though she didn’t have the foggiest notion what to do, but decided to plunge in anyway. Aunt Millificent, by the way, is a champion plunger, a strong believer in the phrase “leap and the net will appear.”That pretty much defined the way she lived her life, especially at times when some special measure of creativity was needed in order to solve a problem.  In fact, she had found out from experience that once she sets her mind to accomplishing something, and takes the first few steps, all sorts of things—ideas, answers, solutions, advice, resources-- ending up practically dropping into her lap as if by magic.

Aunt Millificent didn’t think it was magic, however. Being a woman of Great Faith, she always gave the credit to God who, she believed, was looking out for her and wanted to help her do good things in the world. Some people who are not comfortable with God-talk, might express it otherwise in terms of Providence, or a force for good in the universe. Some, to be sure, would ascribe the whole thing to luck, chance or coincidence.

How do you look at the whole matter?  And is your opinion something that can be proven, or is it just your opinion that you’ve decided to respect as Absolute Fact? Just something to think about.  And why I’m in the mood to ask questions, here are two more: Do you have an “Aunt Millificent” in your life? Another question: Are you an Aunt “Millificent” to anyone else?

            Where were we? Oh yes, Aunt Millificent.  She uttered a silent prayer for guidance, and almost immediately an idea came to her: “Why don’t you pack him a little bag and I’ll take him home with me for the weekend? The change of scenery will do him good, and I have a trick up my sleeve that might help,” she suggested.

And so, Millificent set off on what she considered to be an adventure. (a nice way to look at bridges when they take the form of challenges that happen to appear) At this point, she didn’t know what she was going to do except that she was going to take the dear boy for the weekend, and that she would be especially attentive to what sort of solution presented itself to her once they were back home. As for tricks up sleeves? She didn’t have sleeves, because the weather was very warm. And as for the tricks, they would come when they needed to, or so she thought. She was sure something would come up at the right time.

Hmmm . . . Isn’t it nice to live with that level of trust? Or is she hopelessly naïve? What is your opinion? And can you prove it as fact?”

That’s enough for now. What happened over the weekend? You’ll just have to wait and see. I haven’t crossed that bridge yet, but I’m sure something will come up.

            You can rest assured, however, that the following things will not be coming up as we make our way through our story: How Ben and Jerry got started? Summer fashions in the 80’s; Miniature golf: friend or foe?

How to block a blocker. Lesson One

                                                     Look before you leap!           Leap and the net will appear!

III. Bridge Blockers

                Note: This blog is a serial, so you might want to go back and read it from the beginning.

As you know, Hobblestone has an uncle who moved to Topeka. He must have done well out there—well enough to be able to afford a very expensive fountain pen to send to Hobblestone as a graduation gift. We might also note that even though Hobblestone’s uncle moved far away from friends and family (he used to have a house three doors down from Hobblestone), he managed to stay in touch with people back home. Their relationships didn’t dissolve because of the move; they simply moved on to a new phase or stage.

You see, relationships themselves have bridges to cross.  And when one person crosses a bridge, so do the relationships with those he leaves behind, each in their own way. This is a fact of life that we might even consider to be a Rule About How things Are. We’ll keep a list of rules as we continue through our saga.

Rule # 1: The decisions we make cause changes in others’ lives as well.

Note: you can usually verify a rule by simply Taking A Good Look At Your Own Life. Go ahead. Test Rule # 1 by thinking of what has happened to you when people have moved away, or when you’ve been the one to cross a significant bridge.

Some people have a hard time with this, especially when someone they know and love starts to cross a new bridge. Being human, they would prefer that things Remain the Same. And that’s why some people have a problem with us when we change or develop or transform. “What’s wrong with you,” they ask. You’ve Changed.”  ---Well duh, yes I am changing. And it’s a good thing for me even though it might not seem that way to you.  

Back to Hobblestone’s uncle: Before he decided to cross the bridge,  some of his friends, genuinely having his best interests at heart, helped him consider the pros and cons about the move, leaving him free to make his own decisions about things, and being willing to support him no matter what decisions he would make.

Would you be able to do that for a friend contemplating a big bridge?

Not everyone can do this. There were other friends, relatives and acquaintances who actively tried to discourage him from moving away. Virgil’s mother was the worst of them all. (You haven’t met Virgil yet but you’re about to get a sense of his mother.) What are some of the things she said to him?

·         You’re taking a big chance, making a move like that.

·         You really don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.

·         Why would you want to leave family and friends and everyone important in your life to go to a place where you’d be all alone and homesick?

·         Are you sure you want to sell your house? You’ll have nothing to come back to if things don’t work out.

Do you get the picture? Virgil’s mother was what I call a Bridge-Blocker. And she put all her heart and soul into it. Virgil’s mother, you see, had a big stake in everyone staying on her side of the bridge with her. In fact, if she had her way, there wouldn’t be any bridges at all to cross. Things could just stay comfortable and safe. But life is not like that. We all have bridges, and they’re laid out differently for each of us. That leads us to another Rule:

Rule #2: There’s a configuration meant only for you.

Questions to consider: Who set up the configuration? And who are the Bridge-Blockers in your life?

                Don’t forget Rule # 1. If you cross an important bridge, in essence all those who you leave behind are also forced to cross a bridge, a bridge from Life With You Around All The Time to a life where You’re not Around All the Time. It’s your decision to cross the bridge that makes it necessary for them to cross a bridge perhaps not of their own making. But life is like that. That’s why there are Rules.

                By the way, this blog is not going to be about some merely interesting but trivial questions and concerns such as: What is Hobblestone’s uncle’s name? Why did he move to Topeka? and What arrangement of Pomp and Circumstance did they play at Hobblestone’s graduation?

Parenthetical comment # 1

Parenthetical comment

I wanted to use this picture at the top of my blog but can't manage to do it, so then I decided it would be fun to post a different bridge picture with my entries. I'm looking for photos that are not copyrighted. If you have any bridge pictures you be willing to share for this blog, please send them to me at bcamera@anselm.edu

I'm also looking for feedback of any kind. Who knows, maybe you'll influence the project as it evolves. Just comment on the blog or mail your comments to me at the above address.

Many thanks,
B.

II. Bridges and choices and an American poet.

(Note: this blog is a serial. You might want to go back and read the posts from the beginning. Or not.)

Where were we? Oh yes: bridges and choices. Imagine, if you can, a world where there are bridges everywhere that we have to cross as we make our way through life.  Job offers are bridges, and we have to decide whether or not to cross them, and our decision might lead us to a new life. Consider Hobblestone at graduation: will he accept the job or not?

Now, you might be wondering what the job was. If you are, Stop. It doesn’t matter what the job was. What Really Matters is our discussion about bridges. Curiosity can often be a distraction which draws our attention away from the important stuff. Curiosity can be A Bridge That Leads To Nowhere. That’s why it’s so often called ïdle curiosity. You’d be better off spending some time thinking about Your Own Life.

When have you faced a bridge that could lead you to a new life? Did you take it? Or did you remain where you were until you came to another bridge?

Do you remember Robert Frost? Do you remember what he wrote in his famous poem:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

What’s made a difference in your life? Do you realize what courage it took to cross that bridge?  Have you ever congratulated yourself for it? If not, take a moment and do so now. We can wait. . . .

In the meantime, lest you get distracted, know that this blog will not be dealing with the following topics: The sad state of bridges across America; The cat that curiosity killed; Dactylic hexameter.

I. What's this about a bridge?

                Has this ever happened to you? You’re sitting at your desk one day writing a “Get Well” card to your uncle in Topeka (kidney stones) when the phone rings and it’s your buddy Harry reminding you that the check for the trip you’re planning is due at the end of the week. You stop writing the card and take out your checkbook. Meanwhile, your secretary buzzes you to tell you that Fluntrik is on the phone and he says it’s urgent. So you pick up the phone to find out what Fluntrik is bothering you about this time (third time today) and your pen falls on the floor and rolls under the desk. It’s a fountain pen and you have beige carpeting, so you want to retrieve the pen before it bleeds into the rug. You tell Fluntrik to hold on while you get down on the floor looking for the pen (an expensive gift from, of all people, the uncle in Topeka--what a coincidence!) when, all of a sudden . . . .

                That’s how it is sometimes, isn’t it? One thing leads to another and that leads to another which moves us off in a different direction and so on and so on until we end up far from where we started and there is no longer any connection between what we’re doing at the moment and where we started only twenty minutes ago. (And I might point out to younger readings that the older you get, the more often this happens.) And if we look at the larger picture of our lives, we might actually notice that the same thing has been going on not for twenty minutes but for months or even years, and we look back and wonder how the time went by so quickly and at the beginning we never we never would have dreamed we’d end up where we are now.

                Where were you ten years ago? Ten years ago, Hobblestone was in seventh grade taking one of those annoying standardized tests while thinking about the piece of pineapple upside-down cake sitting in his lunch pail. And now? Here he is in his car on the way to his first day of his first job—and you’re just meeting him! I bet that ten years ago, you never even knew that Hobblestone existed. After all these years, just now your paths have intersected, simply because you happened to click on the link to this blog. And at this moment, you have no idea what your relationship with Hobblestone is going to mean for the quality of your life. (. . . or not. You never know. You never really know).

                And now you have to make a decision. Will you continue reading this blog? Will you subscribe to it or put it on your favorites list?

              Choices, choices, choices. Think of them as bridges. Which one will you cross?

                And in case you haven’t noticed: this blog isn’t only about Hobblestone.

                Un-topics: Here are some things this blog will not be about “No Child Left Behind,” “Fun with pineapples" or “the sad plight of a college graduate in this economy.” Just so you know.