XVII. Some things to think about

XVII. Some things for you to think about.

                So Hobblestone had yet another proof that he God was always taking care of him, especially when he had trouble realizing it. God was using people such as his parents, Aunt Millificent, Harry, his uncle in Topeka, Virgil and many others many times and in many ways, and his visit with Aunt Millificent left him thinking about these things. He successfully crossed the bridge back to the Good Place.

Rule # 90: Gratitude opens the bridge back to the Good Place.

Things for you to think about: Who are the people that God has put in your life as instruments  of his care for you? Is it possible that he might be using you that way in someone else’s life? Can you remember a time in your life when you thought things were going wrong when in retrospect you realize that someone was watching out for you?

But God wasn’t doing all the work himself. Hobblestone had to cooperate, just like you and I had to cooperate. Hobblestone was the one who had to make a conscious, deliberate decision to cross the bridges which opened up before him. And one bridge led to another. But without that first step . . .

It makes me wonder. How many times has God laid a bridge before me which I chose not to cross? What have I missed out by resisting? How about you? We’re back to that fork in the road that Robert Frost wrote about back in section II.

A lot of those questions are unanswerable. At least on this side of the grave, assuming that there are two sides to the grave. Which I do. And I bet you do, too, because if you didn’t, I doubt you’d still be reading this blog. But who am I to make assumptions? Maybe you are, so if you are, think more about these things, would you?

Anyway, there’s a rule we should take a look at. Keep it if you think it makes sense to you.

Rule # 134: Sometimes we don’t cross the bridges what would lead us to a New Way of Living. When that happens, we lose out on something, and we’ll never know what is we lost.

                Ah . . . if only we could tell where our decisions would take us! But life is a mystery . A mystery we sometimes never get to figure out. And as much as we don’t like it, for some reason it’s better that way. Maybe it will all get sorted out , like I said before, on the other side of the grave. But here in this life, we just have to keep praying for Wisdom and Guidance. And if a mystery does unravel itself, be grateful. If it doesn’t, be patient.  

Rule # 67: Life is a mystery.

Rule # 68: You are a mystery.

Rule # 69: Stop trying to figure out what can’t be figured out.

While I’m on the subject: Please don’t forget that you are indeed a precious, unique, beautiful and complex mystery. There are many facets to you, some of which you haven’t even discovered yet. And if you’re like me, there are some parts of you that you can’t even figure out yourself. So how could anyone else. And how dare you, or anyone, assume that you have someone else all figured out. And if ever someone comes along who tells you “I have you all figured out,” run in the other direction as fast as you can, because you’re dealing with an idiot who can only see life in one dimension. I’ll never be able to figure out people like that!

We can sum this up with a statement by Charles Dickens (A Tale of Two Cities):

A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other.

                But on the other hand, if you think you have someone All Figured Out, think again. And if possible, apologize. And in the future, pepper your conversations with humble yet honest disclaimers such as:

·         I may be mistaken, but it seems . . .

·         I don’t know you well enough to . . .

·         There’s an observation I’d like to make—I’m not sure it applies to your situation because only you can know that, but . . .

·         I don’t know what I’d do if I were in your shoes, but . . .

·         Here are some things it might be helpful for you to consider . . .

At this point, it would be a good idea for you to make up a few of your own and practice them just in case a situation arises where you’re tempted to sound like a know-it-all. I don’t know about you, but I usually don’t waste my time getting into any kind of involved discussion with a know-it-all.

I’d like to tell you  one thing at this point. But if it doesn’t apply to you, just let it be. After all, you’re a mystery to me. Anyway, here’s what I want to say. Whenever we open our minds to consider something that we’ve never considered before, there is a possibility that we are about to undergo a significant Transformation in our lives.

Some of you  might be wondering exactly what I mean by Transformation. That’s a very good question, and I promise to answer it in the next entry. Really.

                In the meantime, take a look around your brain and consider if there are any mysteries in your life that you haven’t been able to figure out, and if there are, try to just let them be. It will reduce your stress level. But maybe I’m wrong because I don’t know you well enough.

                And to get started, here are a few things that you can’t figure out yet. Let them be: 1) How old is Hobblestone now? 2) Was Aunt Millificent ever married? 3) How to deal with difficult people.

XVI Just the right thing at just the right time.

XVI. Just the right thing at just the right time.

Hobblestone rang the bell. No sooner had the door opened when Hobblestone was engulfed in a wonderful Aunt-Millificent-Hug, the kind that communicates a lot without any words being said.  She took the piece of pineapple upside-down cake, cooing nice words about Virgil’s mother (Aunt Millificent is one of the few people who ever says kind words about Virgil’s mother. That’s why she gets all the cake.)

They went into the kitchen. Hobblestone sat down and she brought him a glass of Dr. Pepper ®. (Hmmmm  .  .  .There seems to be a relationship between kitchens and Good Places; have you noticed that? Is it true for you as well? There are exceptions, of course. Ask Fr. Anderssohn—two S’s like Mendelssohn—who was the Pastor of Hobblestone’s church.  Father’s  mother had a stroke while washing the dishes in the rectory one day, fell to the floor and sadly enough, expired, while still wearing her apron and with soapsuds on her hands. And no, I’m not going to tell you what brand of dish soap she was using. What Matters here is the point I’m trying to make: Most likely, poor Fr. Anderssohn doesn’t consider kitchens to be Good Places).

                But I digress. Hobblestone and Aunt Millificent shared the piece of pineapple upside-down cake that Virgil’s mother had sent over. Yummy! Then, after Aunt Millificent had cleared the table, he handed the Disappointing Letter from Graduate School to her and sat back, eyes downcast, as she read it.

                “Oh, my!” she said. She put down the letter and looked at him with concern. She said nothing more. She simply sat with him in silence, waiting for him to say what he needed to say.

Rule # 115: Waiting in silence is often a good thing to do when others are in distress.

                Finally, the damn burst. Hobblestone poured out his disappointment, his dismay, his bewilderment, his sadness, and everything and anything else he needed to get out of his system. Aunt Millificent simply sat and listened. Listened deeply, listening “with the ear of her heart,” as Saint Benedict says in his Rule. She kept her silence even after Hobblestone stopped speaking. She simply quietly with him and gave some space to his pain.

Rule # 75: Don’t ever tell anyone that you “feel their pain.” That’s stupid and patronizing. No one can feel the pain except for the person who’s experiencing the pain.

                After a time, at just the right moment, asked him to play a game with her. Aunt Millificent believed that a lot could be accomplished by playing certain kinds of games. This game was going to be challenge for him because of what had happened to him, but he was always open to playing Aunt Millificent’s games. They usually ended up doing him a lot of good.

Would you like to know what the game was? I’ll tell you what the game was:

                She said to Hobblestone, “God gave me a very sweet gift today: I was sitting by the window reading my book when the landscaping guys came by to take care of the lawn. Their lawn mower made a lot of noise, and my first impulse was to get annoyed, but then I remembered that there are often little gifts hidden inside unexpected things. So instead, I closed my eyes and listened to the lawn mower and the weed whacker and imagined that I was hearing a symphony. And what an interesting symphony it was, because each piece of machinery spoke with a different voice. And as I sat there, listening with my eyes closed, all of a sudden this wonderful fragrance came through my window—the fragrance of freshly mowed grass. Oh, it was so wonderful! The symphony now had a scent to it as one of the instruments. So I just sat and savored the moment for myself and was really glad I crossed the bridge from Being Annoyed to being grateful.

                “Now, my dear, it’s your turn: tell me how God has blessed you recently.”

                If you’d like to play the game too, go ahead.Think of how God has blessed you within the past 24 hours.

Hobblestone and Aunt Millificent stories for a while, until Aunt Millificent was aware that he had finally set his foot back on the bridge to the Good Place. Then, at just the right moment, she moved on to her Main Point. (Well, actually, it was God’s main point, but I hope you know what I mean by now.)

She reached out for the book she had been reading and opened it. “I was reading this book while sitting by the window,” she said, “when you called me to tell me about the Dissapointing Letter from Graduate School.  Interestingly enough, the passage I was reading is related to your predicament. Isn’t it wonderful,” she said, “when just the right thing comes along to help us, at just the right time. Would it be okay for me to read it to you? Hobblestone was eager to hear what the passage said. He knew from experience that Aunt Millificent always seemed to have just the right thing to offer him at just the right time.

                Here’s the passage:

[God]knows that you do not know what is good for you and he makes it his business to give it to you. He does not mind disappointing you. You thought you were going eastward, he takes you to the west. You were on the point of striking something dangerous, he turns the rudder and brings you safe to port. . . . If pirates cross your bow, and unexpected puff of wind takes you out of their reach. . . . The journey continues without interruption, and in spite of rocks and pirates and continual storms pursues its even way!

Now it was Hobblestone’s turn to sit in silence. He closed his eyes and asked her to read the passage again. His breathing became more relaxed, and as she read, his breath fell more and more deeply into his body. He shed a tear, but it was not a tear of sorrow. It was the tear of a child who had been lost and tried to be brave until at last he was back with his parent and was safe—safe enough to finally shed tears.

                Hobblestone was safe. He was home. He knew he was being cared for, not only by Aunt Millificent, but by Providence itself. Interestingly enough, the reading came from a book called “Self-abandonment to Divine Providence” (Book II, chapter 1, section 8).

                And for the first time since he read that Disappointing Letter from Graduate School, he was at peace. In fact, he told Aunt Millificent that he was very interested in seeing where it was that God was going to take him since that graduate school was obviously not a bridge he was meant to cross. And even though he was still a little sad, he was looking forward to finding out what was in store for him.

                Can you, dear reader, apply this to your view of your own life? If not, simply ask for the wisdom to be able to see things this way.

And, before we conclude, here are a few things that you don’t have to bother considering; 1) How Guttenberg came up with the idea of creating a printing press; 2) statistics regarding strokes; 3) kitchens of Norway.

XV. It will be given to you

XV. It Will Be Given to You
Where we we? Oh yes, Aunt Millificent was praying for God to help her help Hobblestone if he wanted her to. Now pay attention because this is important: She was praying that God would help her know what to say to her nephew.

                She had confidence that this would happen because it had happened so often at other times (remember the episode of the Terrible Ice Cream Temper Tantrum of so many years ago?). So one thing we could say was that her faith was based on her experience of praying and receiving answers to prayers of this sort.

Rule # 123: People who pray often have experiences which strengthen their faith. Try it and find out for yourself.

                One of her favorite Bible passages came from one of the Gospels: “It will be given you what to say.” This was another promise that had proved itself to be true more times than I can tell you about right now. Again, you have to check it out for yourself if you’re interested; that is, if you want to cross this particular bridge. In my humble opinion, it’s a good bridge to cross. As I said in the last entry, Aunt Millificent was never sure how God would work things out. In fact, sometimes he does it in ways that one never would have expected. Remember when he used The Cat for one of his solutions. God tends to be very creative, you know.

Rule # 124: When we ask for help, it often comes in the most unexpected ways, thank God.

This time when she was praying for guidance, help came quickly. Before Hobblestone got to the house, she took a look at one of her favorite books (I’ll tell you about it later.) and Just Happened to find a passage that might help. Oops. The doorbell rang. He’s here. She put the book aside and went to answer the door, praying, “Lord, help me help him.” –another prayer that she found to be quite effective.

To sum up: Aunt Millificent’s faith came from her experience of prayer and how effective it could be. And having that kind of faith made it easier to build a strong bridge to the land of Trust. 

Rule # 96: Faith helps build bridges.

That is why her faith is so strong. In fact, it was her faith that built bridges for her to cross where she could do a lot of good for Hobblestone, and for many other people who were fortunate enough to have her as a gift in their lives. Just wait until you find out what she did for Virgil’s mother. You’ll be amazed; I can’t wait to find out myself. This blog isn’t only about you, you know.

One last thing for now. Her faith was also the basis for a great deal of creativity. Not that she was an artist or author or anything like that, but just in the way she lived her life and in the solutions she so often came up with to problems she set her mind to fixing. Of course, she would say that God gave her the solutions as a gift. Wow. What a way to life. Can you live like that yet?

Now it’s time to move on. Enough blog for today. But rest assured that you don’t need to know the answers to the following issues: 1) anything about gift wrapping; 2) people who hear voices that tell them to do bad things; 3) people who pray with rattlesnakes.

XIV. Aunt Millificent asks for help

XIV. The Prayer of Aunt Millificent

                So Hobblestone finally made his way to Aunt Millificent’s house, bringing the Disappointing Letter from Graduate School and the piece of pineapple upside-down cake from Virgil’s mother. He knew from experience that if anyone could help him get back to a Good Place it would be Aunt Millificent.  

Rule # 95: Sometimes there are people in our lives who help us build bridges to our Good Places. It’s a good idea to stay in touch with them. 

                Who helps you when you need to get to a Good Place?

How can you help others  build bridges to their Good Places? 

                I hate to disappoint you.  Well to be honest, I don’t hate disappointing you at all because it’s for a good cause, so don’t go running off to a Bad Place because that’s as far as we’re going to get in the story this time. You can always skip to the next part.  

Rule # 36: When you’re reading a book and you get stuck in a boring part, it’s okay to skip over it (unless it’s going to be on the test).  

Now: The rest of this blog entry is about spirituality, so if you’re not in the mood, you can skip it and wait until next time to find out what happened. And then if you end up getting in the mood later, you can always come back and find out what you missed.  

Rule # 53: There are some things you can put off if you’re Not in the Mood. However, this rule hardly ever applies to firemen, policemen, emergency room doctors and nurses, and many others, including little boys who have been told For the Third Time to clean up their rooms. 

Let’s go back a bit. Before Hobblestone drove over to Aunt Millificent’s, he called her to let her know about the Disappointing Letter From Graduate School. “Oh my,” she thought, “I’d better pray about this.” And so she did, which wasn’t surprising because it’s part of Her Way of Dealing with Things. (What’s yours?) So she started praying, just like Saint Benedict said: “Always begin a good work with most earnest prayer.” And so she did.  

How did she pray, you ask? That’s a very good question. I’m glad you asked, so I’ll tell you how she prayed:  She took several deep breaths, and imagined Jesus standing before her and saying “What do you want me to do for you?” just like he said to the blind man one day. And then she answered. 

She did not pray for Jesus to fix Hobblestone; She simply prayed  for God to bless Hobblestone. She left it up to Him to figure out how he would go about doing that. She knew she didn’t need to go and tell God how she wanted him to fix things, like so many people do. She also didn’t go on and on talking and talking like some people do  when they’re saying grace and the food is getting cold. 

She also prayed that if God wanted to use her to help Hobblestone (notice how humble she was—humility is good in prayer), that he would give her the insight she needed to be of help. This brings us to another rule:

Rule # 125: Sometimes God chooses not to use us to help somebody. We have to accept that and not go on trying to fix things on our own. He’ll decide who’s going to help. After all, we can’t all be going about trying to save the world. Jesus did that; all we can do is help in our little ways when and if he wants us to. 

                And just in case you think I have too naïve a view of things, I want to tell you that there were times when God didn’t answer Aunt Millificent’s prayer, like when Hobblestone’s uncle was trying to decide whether or not to move to Topeka. She prayed that God would give her good advice to tell him, but God didn’t answer. Apparently, he didn’t need her to say anything at all, because Hobblestone’s uncle was already getting all the help he needed. In fact, he was already packing his bags and putting the house up for sale while she was praying.        

Aunt Millificent never gave Hobblestone’s uncle any advice at all because she didn’t know what to say. Thank God she’s not like some people (like Virgil’s mother) who always have something to say even thought it isn’t particularly helpful. Sometimes silence is better, and, once again, she remembered what Saint Benedict had to say: Sometimes it’s better to remain silent, even when we have something good to say. If you have a habit of shooting your mouth off when you really have nothing valuable to say, maybe you might put Rule # 15 into practice: 

Rule # 15: When you don’t know, it’s better to keep silent. 

There’s another thing about Aunt Millificent’s prayer that I want to tell  you about, but I’m not In The Mood right now. I’ll save it for the next entry. 

                Maybe this is a good time for you to take a moment and ask God to bless some special people in your life. Just don’t go about telling him how to bless them. 

                And don’t worry about the following: 1) Sources for the Rule of Saint Benedict; 2) people who give advice when it isn’t asked; 3) superheroes.

XIII. The Bad Place.

At the risk of stating the obvious, I’ll state the obvious: There are Bad Places as well as Good Places. 

I was in a Bad Place yesterday. I installed a new software program on my computer and the one function I needed the program to do for me wouldn’t work the way it was supposed to. I called Tech Support, only to find out that the line wouldn’t be open until Monday. It was Friday. I tried on-line help and was informed that I’d get an answer to my question the next business day. Bit by bit, step by step, frustration by frustration, I slipped into my Bad Place. Computers can do that to you when something isn’t working right. I’m sure you know what I mean.

Then the phone rang. It was Fluntrick with an annoying question. I was curt and snippy with him. That’s what happens when I’m in a Bad Place. Does this ever happen to you? How do you act when you’re in a Bad Place?

About 10 minutes later I was back in a Good Place. I’ll tell you later how I got there. One hint though: it involved a few deep breaths. 

Rule # 87: We all have Good Places and Bad Places. Sometimes we're in a tug-of-war between the two.

Here’s some basic information about Bad Places:

·         The Bad Place is where some people go when things don’t work out the way they want them to. (Like having them run out of your favorite ice cream flavor.)

·         When you’re in the Bad Place, you get angry and curse your fate.

·         The Bad Place is where you take that anger out on others.

·         The Bad Place is where you feel sorry for yourself.

·         People in the Bad Place are always looking for someone else or something else to blame for their sad predicament. Examples: Their parents, the government, the boss-who-doesn’t-get-them, their parole officer, their husbands, or wives, or kids, that nasty professor.

·         People in the Bad Place is a place get eaten up by envy (the only sin which gives the sinner no pleasure), jealousy, crippled bitterness and resentment.

·         Sometimes you can recognize a Bad Place because there is a banging of fists on tables (or anything else handy), there are often naughty words used (you should hear what I called my computer!)

·         People in Bad Places often have a particular sensation somewhere in their bodies. It’s different for each person. It’s good when you learn to recognize the feeling, because then you know you’re in trouble. That’s what is meant by the phrase Listen to Your Body.

 Another Rule, if you will: 

Rule # 98: The Bad Place can reach out with its tentacles and pull us right out of our Good Place.

 Remember what happened to Virgil’s mother that day she was happily taking a pineapple upside-down cake out of the oven when she realized that her son was not going to marry Lucinda after all, even though she thought that would Be the Best Thing For HIm. Whoosh—off to the BAd Place, while the poor pineapple upside-down cake splattered to the floor. You know the rest of the sordid details.

The day that Disappointing Letter From Graduate School arrived, Hobblestone could feel himself slipping into the Bad Place. But he was aware of it, and he could observe it happening. He noticed right away that he was getting angry, and feeling sorry for himself. Not good. He knew from experience that being in the Bad Place only made things even more painful. So what did he do?

 You know what he did. I told you last time. He went to see Aunt Millificent. He decided to build a bridge from the Bad Place to the Good Place.He knew the rule.

Rule # 89: Once we’re aware that we have Good Places as well as Bad Places we are better able to negotiate our way between the two. 

 Don’t forget Rule # 73. Here, I’ll repeat it for you just in case you haven’t been keeping up with all the blog entries:

Rule # 73: Self-awareness brings us a greater degree of freedom than we had when we were unconscious or ignorant.

 

Now, think about this: By the way, what can pull you out of a Good Place? And what can rescue you from a Bad Plac?. This blog isn’t only about Hobblestone (or Virgil’s mother), you know. But there’s one thing I want to say about Virgil’s mother at this point: It’s a damn good thing what she was never rejected from graduate school. And that’s all I have to say about the matter.

                Think about your Bad Places and your Good Places. Build yourself a bridge if you want.

But don’t waste any mental energy thinking about the following issues: 1) Dante’s Inferno; 2) How to find a good therapist  3) Jealousy, envy and bitterness in the nuclear family (or monastery).

XII. The Good Place

XII. The Good Place

                So Hobblestone is  driving to Aunt Millificent’s. He has two things with him: the rejection letter he had just received, and a piece of pineapple upside-down cake that Virgil’s mother gave him to share with the dear lady.That was a nice, thoughtful, kind thing for her to do. Even Virgil’s mother, you see, had her good points.

Rule # 86: We all have our Good Points.

                There’s a lesson to be learned in this: even Difficult People have their Good Points, although sometimes they’re buried under a lot of stuff that is not so good, and we have to look carefully to see them.

                Take Virgil’s mother, for example. Most of the time, if you put her in a kitchen and let her be in charge of the meal, her Good Points come shining through. As long as nothing happens to upset her idea of The Way Things Are Supposed to Be. (That’s another matter. Maybe we’ll get to it later.) Perhaps you remember the ill-fated pineapple upside-down cake, the one that didn’t make its way to Aunt Millificent. In fact, that pineapple upside-down cake didn’t even make its way to the dining room table. But we digress.

                With an occasional exception, the kitchen was a Good Place for Virgil’s mother. It was where she was at her best. She loved to cook, and she loved to know that people were enjoying her food. We could say that being in the kitchen brought out The Very Best in her.

                What brings out the best in you? Where are your Good Places? What are you like when you’re in a Good Place? How is it different from those crabby days we all have from time to time? When is the last time you’ve been in a Good Place? Why not go there more often if you can? Don’t forget: this book isn’t only about Hobblestone, or Virgil’s mother for that matter.

                I’ll give you a personal example to help stimulate your thinking. Whenever I’m working on this blog, I’m in a Good Place. And sometimes when I’m on edge or just plain crabby, one of the best remedies I have is to sit down and work on this blog. You can do the same thing, you know. Just figure out what you do that puts you into a Good Place and then go there—knitting, perhaps, or cooking, or reading mystery stories, or holding a baby, or even housecleaning (which never works for me). Just go there. Our ability to do that is one of the nice things about life. Just put Rule # 94 into practice.

Rule # 94: With practice, we can learn to build bridges which take us to our Good Places.

                That’s why Hobblestone is driving to Aunt Millificent’s house. Being with her is always a Good Place for him, even when it looks like life is just not working out the way he wants it to. Even with a rejection letter lying on the front passenger seat of his car.

                So, until the next entry, give some thought to your good places. Go there if you can. Build some bridges, bridges that will make your life brighter and also benefit others.

             Rule # 88: When we’re in a Good Place, others benefit from it.

                I also encourage you not to think about the following: 1) Anything having to do with Julia Child; 2) What kind of car did Hobblestone drive? 3) Pineapple plantations in third world countries.

                Have a nice day.

XI. Some bridges aren't meant for us.

XI.  Some bridges aren’t meant for us.

                Sometimes we see a bridge that we want to cross, but for some reason that we do not understand at the moment, the gate to the bridge is blocked or we can’t pay the toll. Do you know what I mean?

                Hobblestone just didn’t understand why his application to graduate school at a prestigious New England university was turned down. He was sure that bridge was meant for him. He’d been eyeing it since his sophomore year in college; in fact, it was the only school he applied to for his graduate work. 

“In what?” you ask? Don’t ask. It’s not important to our story.

                I would have hoped by now that you wouldn’t let yourself get distracted so easily by trivial curiosity. But I’m going to Let  Go of the disappointment of thwarted expectations and move on. I harbor no residual resentment, bitterness, dismay or grudges. 

Rule # 52: You’ll be better off if you don’t let yourself get distracted by trivial curiosities.

Rule # 72: Inner peace comes to those who harbor no residual resentment, bitterness, dismay or grudges. 

And that’s what this entry is really all about. Letting it Go. Big things as well as small. Let It Go. Some of you may remember that back in the late 60’s, Paul McCartney sang a song called “Let it be,” but most of us didn’t adopt it as a way of life. After all, we were in the middle of the war in Viet Nam, students were demonstrating all over the place, and no one was willing to let It be, since It was such a mess. 

Things are still a mess, for different reasons, perhaps, but maybe we’re just fed up with being fed up, because a new phrase has emerged in popular parlance: Let It Go. A lot of people work at it lately. Maybe you’ve seen them making fists and then gently opening their fingers, palms facing up. some people also take a deep breath while doing it. I enthusiastically recommend it. And if you want, you can make up your own gesture if it helps you Let It Go.

                It’s time for a quick review. Stay with me on this: At The Ice Cream Stand: They didn’t have Hobblestone’s favorite flavor. (I think they should fire the manager, but who am I to judge?) Instead of having a temper tantrum, Hobblestone played Shoo, Kitty!---which allowed him to Let it Go and discover a new flavor of ice cream (red raspberry, if I remember correctly.) 

                Have you noticed how the two themes are interconnected? Time folds in on itself and the games develop a relationship with one another. Like I’ve said, life isn’t linear. 

                And now, once again, many years later, the dreaded rejection letter comes in the mail. the bridge-gate is shut and locked, and Hobblestone suffers a great disappointment. He thought he had his near future all mapped out, but suddenly the rug is pulled out for him and he has no idea what he’s going to do.

   What do you think he ends up doing? Think about it until next time. 

Meanwhile, don’t waste your time thinking about trivial curiosities such as 1) the name of the school that turned him down; 2) the increasing number of unpaid student loans in our country; 3) the trolls that children think live under the bridge.

X. Shooing the Kitty and a cake that no one got to eat.

X. Shooing the Kitty and a cake that no one got to eat.

 (Note to reader: If you haven’t been keeping up-to-date with your Hobblestone reading, I suggest you go back and get caught up. Otherwise the whole “Shoo, Kitty!” thing will make very little sense to you. Nor will a few other things. Anyway, it’s your call, because it’s your bridge. Might I also suggest that you bookmark this blog? After all, if you’ve come this far, why not?

                Where were we? Oh, yes. Hobblestone shooed the Kitty and everyone was pleased.

I don’t know about you, but I sure wish more people would learn to play the “Shoo, Kitty!” game or some variation thereof. People just get so bent out of shape lately when they don’t get what they want when they want it and how they want it. And maybe it’s my imagination, but things seem to be getting worse.

Take Virgil’s mother, for example. She had told Hobblestone that she expected Virgil to marry a girl he had been dating by the name of Lucinda. She liked Lucinda. And that says something, because there weren’t too many people that Virgil’s mother liked. In fact, she seemed to get a perverse joy out of Not Liking People. (Do you know people like that? Do you like them?) Almost as much joy as she got out of complaining about things. (I know people like that, but I’m not complaining, just pointing it out.)

Anyway, Virgil and Lucinda decided they were going to simply be friends; it was better that way.

Rule # 45: Sometimes it’s better when you decide to just be friends.

Rule # 34: When you write your own blog, you’re allowed to split infinitives whenever you want.

Rule # 35: It is wise to find out how your teachers (or editors) feel about split infinitives before you go and split your own.

Well, one day at Sunday dinner (pot roast, potato pancakes, red cabbage and freshly baked rye bread), Virgil mentioned to Hobblestone and Harry (they were often invited to Sunday dinner at Virgil’s) that he and Lucinda decided to simply be friends (see rule # 34), and that he had a date to go to the Frugal Hornets’  (the latest girl-band rage) concert that coming Friday night with a girl named Pam.

Virgil’s mother, who was in the kitchen taking a pineapple upside-down cake out of the oven, overheard what he said, and almost had a conniption. Well, actually, she DID have a conniption, and the pineapple upside-down cake ended up right-side-up on the kitchen floor while she let out a blood curdling screech!

They all went running into the kitchen. Harry slipped on a piece of pineapple and Hobblestone started giggling. He stopped giggling when Virgil’s mother glared at him over the top of her glasses and shouted “There’s nothing funny about this at all!!!!!

They all assumed that Virgil’s mother was upset because she had dropped the cake on the floor. Nothing could be farther from the truth. (Have you ever made an assumption that turned out to be incorrect? Did it involve cake or pastry?) She was upset (to put it mildly) because Virgil wasn’t serious about Lucinda any more. And right there in the messy kitchen she gave Virgil hell while the others stood there with their mouths open and in the dining room the pot roast gravy began to congeal. (All except for Virgil’s father’s gravy because he was still eating. He’d long passed the point where shrieks from his wife held any interest for him.)

Why was she so upset? She wanted Virgil to marry Lucinda. She just found out that Virgil and Lucinda decided not to get married. Virgil had already decided dating Pam (who was a very nice young lady, a third grade teacher at the Hobblestone Elementary School (named after Hobblestone’s grandfather, who was a hero during one of the wars).

Out with Lucinda. In with Pam. Down with the cake. And Virgil’s mother was in no mood whatsoever to Shoo the Kitty, if you get my meaning.

If Virgil’s mother could have Shooed the Kitty, perhaps she would have given Pam a chance. But sadly enough, from that day forward and even until this day, she despised Pam for all she was worth.

And when Harry started dating Lucinda a few months later, he was immediately uninvited to Sunday dinners at Virgil’s house. That’s how bitter she was.

                And that’s just a small example of what happens when people refuse to Shoo the Kitty when faced with one of life’s disappointments. If you want another more intense example, just think of what happened in Congress during Obama’s first term as president and you’ll know what I mean.

                That’s all for now. I’m exhausted. While you’re waiting for the next installment, you might take a look around your life and see if you’re still carrying any bitterness about some disappointment that life threw your way. Maybe you can let it go. After all, you wouldn’t want to end up like Virgil’s mother, would you?

                 And in the meantime, don’t worry about the following: 1) floor cleaning products; 2) No Child Left Behind; 3) How cattle are slaughtered.  

IX. Crossing the Flexibility Bridge

IX. Crossing the Flexibility Bridge

                Note to reader: You probably need to go back and read earlier entries if you’re going to be able to make any sense out of this at all. Of course, after reading earlier entries, you might still not be able to make any sense out of it. In that case, I guess it’s not your bridge, so feel free to click another link.

                So: Here we are, still at the Ice Cream Stand. It feels like we’re just going around in circles, doesn’t it? Well, as the rule says, Life Isn’t Linear. (Rule # 11)

And once again they’re out of Hobblestone’s favorite flavor.  (What the hell’s going on with that Ice Cream Stand?) The family tensely awaits another Temper Tantrum, but Hobblestone surprises them. What does he do? I’ll tell what he does:

He whispers the phrase, “Shoo, Kitty!” to himself and then looks around to see if there is another flavor he might enjoy, just like The Cat looked around for another snoozing spot! WOW~ Flexibility Bridge successfully caught. All thanks to The Cat, with honorable mention to Aunt Millificent. 

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.  His parents were proud of him and raised their eyes to heaven and said “Thank you for Aunt Millificent!” –which was a very strange thing for them to do because Aunt Millificent was standing just a few feet away from them. (People who believe in God do that sometimes, figuring that it was God who sent that person to the rescue. Do you do that sometimes?) 

As I said, everyone was relieved, including Hobblestone’s life-long friend Harry. Aunt Millificent simply put a knowing smile on her face and winked at Hobblestone who gave her a grin that was dripping with Red Raspberry Ice Cream, running down his chin and unto his Pokemon t-shirt.  Harry looked at Hobblestone and said, “gross!”  (About Harry: Despite their friendship, sometimes Harry looked askance at some of the things Hobblestone would do or say. Do you have friends like that?)

Rule # 71: Friends sometimes look askance at what each other does. It’s okay.

Cats and dogs like to nap a lot.

Meanwhile, back at the house, Kitty was taking a nap. On the DOG! And no one was the wiser. (As I tend to say: “When the cat’s away, the mice will play. When the people are away, the cat will nap.” The same thing is also true about dogs.) 

We’ll leave The Cat to its nap and the people to their ice cream. Next time, I’ll have a few things to say about the “Shoo, Kitty!" game and what it might possibly mean for our own lives. After all, this blog isn’t only about Hobblestone. 

                In the meanwhile, go have yourself some ice cream or other reward, and don’t worry about the following: 1. Child labor in Asia.  2. Unconditional love.  3. The cost of milk these days.